Hello people,
Let me come clean in saying that although I love writing, I'm ironically not an avid reader. As a person cursed (or perhaps blessed, since everything is relative) with a mild form of ADHD, I find it hard to concentrate for long periods of time. With that said, though, there are still plenty of books written in such ways that they easily capture my interest and keep me reading until the very last page. Sadly though, the Assassin's Creed: Renaissance novel, a book adaptation of the Assassin's Creed II game, is not one of them.
Where to even begin on this book, if that's even a good term for it? First of all, the writing is mediocre, the repetition of words is immense, the characters from the game seem to act either out of character or border on schizophrenia and very essential things are changed or even meaningless details that could've been written down without a second thought.
Do I hate game novels? Nope, I don't. The ones from the Silent Hill series are great, even though I don't believe they used the canon endings. The quality of this novel, however, doesn't elevate above the level of a fanfiction. And a bad fanfiction at that, for even this mocked genre can bring forth great things. If anything, Oliver Bowden return to fanfiction.net for seasoning, for he is not quite ready for professional writing. Not in this genre, at least.
As such, buy Assassin's Creed: Renaissance if you must. If you want to collect everything Assassin's Creed-related, it's fun addition. If you're looking for a good read or a quality game novel, however, don't. Just play the game: Corey May is a better screenwriter than Bowden is an author.
As such, I decided to compare the most notable, strange and hilarious things things from the novel to the original product, with every intent of making it as ridiculous as possible. They're basically reposted here from Deviantart. Enjoy:
Seriously, Bowden? Ezio the womanizer as a half-assed Romeo character who can't let go of a first love? While she's never even mentioned, seen or heard from again in the game after he boinked her? Yeah, indication she was his true love, alright... No, I'm not being sarcastic...
I know these two will likely be canon (even though any scene of them together puts me to sleep), but really... Caterina Sforza crying like some emotional little wench?
History, Bowden? You know, what happened before you were born? The concept that this game series was based on? Rodrigo only died in 1503 and the game stuck to that. And if he died, we wouldn't have had Brotherhood either. NOTE: The cantarella mistake is actually also in the game. Sloppy, Ubisoft. :P
What is it with Bowden and weakening female characters? Granted, women didn't have a lot of power or influence during this time, but it is kind of offensive to water down already existing strong female characters like that.
Not a big thing or a major point when you're reading the novel, but still I'm curious. Why actually waste time on such a stupid detail and make the effort to change it?
Must every woman who isn't related to Ezio crave to have sex with him? Have you been playing God of War, good sir?
Granted, Minerva mentioned that Ezio channels someone else, but I think it may have been better to mention Desmond once. Seeing how most people reading the book are familiar with the games, it's not like it would cause confusion.
The Machiavelli we know didn't shun war and casualties, something that Ubisoft quite accurately portrayed. Now, however, he's nearly crying over the death of some noble girl he barely even knows. OOC, much?
Once again, why must every female in the novel kiss Ezio's feet? I will give Bowden credit for the "keep your dagger in your sheath" line, but that's about it.
Once again, not an offense in the story, but it seems kind of weird La Volpe decides to trust him so easily with his real name.
This one actually had a reason: there were actual historic figures who actually carried this name. Still, strange that the writer calls on history when he didn't in some many other cases of the story.
The saddest thing? I didn't make up the dialogue in the second frame. To be honest, respectful enemies can really make a good story. Yet when the respect is thrown in at the last moment, it's kind of weird.
It's not custom to introduce yourself with your surname first in Italy. So why did the author do it? I have no idea...
Do I need to say anything about this? Really?
Passing out is one thing. Falling asleep... I don't know, this doesn't really amke sense to me. What was wrong with him passing out: it was a far mroe credible way of him to lose the Piece of Eden.
Leaps of Faith are unrealistic, indeed, but they are a staple of the series. So what was the point with Ezio pussing out on them?
It's probably me but this was the first thing that came to mind when reading Maria having a fit in the novel...
Way to go, Bowden, you just ruined the best word play joke in the entire series. Was it so bad to have a respected noblewoman say 'vagina'? :P
It's true that Caterina has a few 'fail' moments in the game, but this is just flat-out stupid. She may not always make wise decisions but she's still smart enough to know when her husband has it in for her.
Am I the only one to whom the description of Ezio's second wrist weapon seemed kind of tacky?
This one is open for debate. Msot people regard it as dirty blond hair though. Some apparently have other ideas (couldn't get a dark enough color in Paint)
Never thought the Assassins would do advertising...with Biblical lines from a former treacherous grandmaster. XD They're desperate for members apparently.
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